FEARS OF TOMORROW - PART 3 / CONCLUSION

Trixie composed herself and went back into the hospital. Aside from her red eyes and nose, she looked calm and poised on the outside. Honey looked up at her when she entered the cubicle where they had given Hallie her stitches. With a slight shake of her head, Trixie looked to Hallie.

“Hal, how are you feeling? Do you need anything?”

Hallie looked at her cousin with narrowed eyes, “I’m fine, Trix. I really wish they’d let me go back to the Farm already!”

Dan poked his head through the curtain.

“Hey, is this girls only or can a guy join in the fun?”

Hallie’s face lit up when she saw Dan.

“Dan!”

Honey saw the reaction the two had to each other and ushered Trixie out of the room.

“Hallie, are you ok?” Dan took in her appearance. Hallie was a little pale. Her uniform top was off, and she wore a tank underneath. It was once white, but now was splattered with blood. Hallie’s blood.

“Yeah Dan, no big deal. Just a scrape.”

Dan came towards her and touched his fingertips to her cheek.

“You didn’t have to come, Dan. I’m ok, just waiting to get released to go home.”

Dan stared down at her and just drank in the sight of her.

He lowered his head and claimed her lips with his own. Time stood still for both as they lost themselves in that one kiss.

Dan raised his head and looked down into Hallie’s face. Her eyes were still closed and the corners of her mouth turned up, ever so slowly. Her eyelids fluttered open and she looked into his dark eyes.

“Good thing I’m already laying in this bed! I think that kiss would have made me faint otherwise!”

Dan let out a short laugh, “You, faint? Yeah right! I’ll believe that when I see it!”

His hand caressed her cheek again and he stared into her blackberry colored eyes.

“I’m glad you’re ok. I had to see for myself.” He said softly.

Hallie grasped his hand from her cheek and squeezed it.

“I’m glad you’re here.” She said just as quietly.

They were interrupted by the doctor coming into the room. Hallie was released and Dan stepped out for a moment to let her get her final instructions and get herself redressed.

He found Trixie and Honey in the hall. He let them know Hallie was in the process of getting released, and he told them he’d make sure she got home.

“That sounds good to us, Dan. We wanted to stop by the station to see what happened to the shooter, and let Molinson know about Hallie’s release.” Honey said.

Dan looked curiously at Trixie. She was just standing there quietly, too quiet for her.

Honey put an arm around Trixie’s shoulders and led her from the hospital. Dan shrugged and chalked it up to her being upset over her cousin getting hurt. He went back into Hallie’s room when the doctor came out.

Trixie felt like she was in a fog. She walked beside Honey into the station, and stood by while Molinson asked about Hallie. She heard him tell her and Honey to take the rest of the day off, but it wasn’t registering.

Honey once again led her out to her car and she drove them home. Stopping in the Crabapple Farm driveway, Honey turned to her friend.

“Trixie, I’m sure everything with Jim will work itself out. You know how he is. He blows up then later calms down and he’s fine.”

Trixie looked at Honey and frowned.

“Honey, this is just different. It feels like- I think I lost him.” She looked down at her hands forlornly.

“Trix, you aren’t a quitter. Chin up! I’m sure you two will have this all worked out by dinner time.”

Trixie tried to smile at her friend. Dear, sweet Honey. Always tried to make everyone feel better. She was right about Jim and his temper. Trixie tried to look at that side and convince herself that Jim would call her later to work it all out.

Dinner time came and went and Trixie waited for the phone to ring but nothing came. She was so upset she couldn’t eat.

Dan had accompanied Hallie home and stayed to have dinner with the family.

Peter and Helen had crowded around their niece and made a fuss over her.

That night, Trixie fell asleep on top of her bed, still dressed in her clothes. It had been late, after midnight when she’d finally succumbed to sleep. Her dreams were fitful, and she tossed and turned and thought of Jim constantly.

The morning dawned brightly, as if nothing from the day before had happened. Trixie couldn’t handle breakfast yet and decided to take the bull by the horns and call Jim. Dialing the familiar number, she was slightly surprised that Jim hadn’t called her last night.

Honey answered on the third ring.

“Hi Honey, Jim didn’t call me, but I can’t let this go on any longer. Is he there, can I speak to him?” Trixie was slightly breathless at the end of it.

Honey was silent for a minute. A long minute. Finally, she cleared her throat.

“No, Trixie, he isn’t here.”

“Is he already over at the school? I can call him there, or maybe stop by before work.”

“I don’t know where he is. He didn’t come home last night. I was concerned and called the school first thing this morning, and Rob said they haven’t seen him since yesterday afternoon. And Trix, he isn’t answering his cell”

Trixie gulped and slowly sat down.

“Where is he Honey? Where did he go?”

“I don’t know, Trix, but I’m sure he’ll call. I bet you he’s in the process of calling right now. Or on his way home.”

Honey’s words sounded more confident than her voice.

Trixie numbly agreed and hung up the phone. She readied for work by habit not conscious thought.

She went straight to Molinson, and requested desk duty with no ‘ride alongs’ today. He frowned and looked down at her with a brow raised. But he granted her wish.

By the end of that night and early the next morning, she became very worried about Jim. No one had heard from him. He hadn’t called the school to let them know he’d be gone. He hadn’t called Miss Trask or Honey about his plans. They considered calling the police, but Regan felt they should hold off yet. There was no sign of anything suspicious happening.

By the evening of the second day, Jim had phoned Miss Trask and told her he was fine and not to worry. Trixie was past worried about him and heading straight for angry.

Why hasn’t he called me? Doesn’t he know everyone was worried about him? How can he just disappear?

Trixie called in sick on the third day. Her anger and frustrations over the situation with Jim was driving her to distraction.

“Trixie, honey, I know you’re upset because of Jim, but, moping around the house isn’t going to help.” Moms said gently.

Trixie had already tackled the dusting of the entire house. She had done the dished from breakfast and made any beds that were still needing it. She had changed Hallie’s bedding, and started the laundry.

“I have been working, not moping!” Trixie told her mother.

“Is that what they call it these days? Well, I think the duster and mop would be grateful if you took a break. You’ve been a little hard on them today.”

Trixie sighed and put the vacuum back into the closet and set the duster on the shelf. She wandered into the kitchen and stood at the sink looking out into the back yard.

“I’m going for a walk, Moms.” She called over her shoulder as she left the house.

Hallie stood at the same window by the sink.

“Hallie, sit down, you really should be resting, dear.” Helen said to her niece.

“Auntie, I’m fine, really. I will go back to work next week.”

“Don’t remind me!”

Hallie looked up at her aunt with surprise.

“Don’t you approve?”

Helen sighed.

“I don’t approve of you or my daughter being a target for weird men with guns.”

“It’s not my idea of fun either, but, I am fine.”

Helen ran her fingers through Hallie’s long hair.

“I’m trying to be objective. It is easier if it didn’t have to do with family.”

Hallie kissed her aunt’s cheek.

“I appreciate your efforts!”

A knock on the door prevented any further conversation.

Dan poked his head into he kitchen and smiled when he saw Hallie.

“Hi, How are you feeling?” he asked.

Hallie rolled her eyes, “Like I’m going to scream if one more person asks me that.”

Dan grin widened.

“Should I duck?”

Hallie cocked her head to one side and smiled.

“Sorry, I’m just so frustrated with the situation. My parents and brothers have called non stop, Auntie and Uncle are hovering, Trixie has deserted me with the situation with Jim, Mart is busy with work, Di and Honey too, and Brian is gone, volunteering at some medical conference thing. When someone does see me, they ask me how I am!”

“Well, then let’s get you out of here!” he winked and held out a hand for her to take.

“Whatever are you going to do with me, Mr. Mangan?” placing her hand into his.

“Wait and see, Ms. Belden. Wait and see!”

Meanwhile out in the woods….

Trixie walked along lost in thought .Where is he? Why hasn’t he called me? Your hunch was right; he did break up with you!

Trixie walked further and suddenly she slammed into a wall, a familiar wall. Strong hands came out immediately to steady her. Slowly, she raised her eyes to look into his green ones.

His face was an unreadable mask. He still held her by the forearms and stared down at her.

Finally he spoke, “Are you ok, Trix?”

Trixie still stared, and she chewed on her lip in thought of how to handle this situation.

“I didn’t fall.” She stated the obvious.

Jim let his hands drop to his sides and continued to look down at her. Finally she couldn’t stand the silence any more and asked, “Are you ok, Jim?”

He nodded.

Trixie raised her hand, made a fist and socked him in the shoulder before he had a clue it was coming.

“Ow!! Trixie, why did you hit me?” he asked rubbing the sore spot.

“Why did I hit you? Why did I hit you?!” Trixie repeated starting to raise her voice.

“That‘s what I wanted to know.” He said.

“Jim Frayne, you left me standing at the hospital, after breaking up with me or at least I think that is what you did! But I don’t know because you disappeared and didn’t see fit to call me for 3 days!” Trixie pushed back from him and started to stalk back to the house.

“Trixie wait.” Jim reached out and grabbed her by the arm to stop her.

Trixie spun around and looked up at him expectantly. She tossed her curls and even tapped her foot waiting for him to continue. With a huff, she started to leave again, only Jim pulled her back.

“We need to talk.” Seeing her glare at him, he sighed, “Please, Trix.”

Trixie relented and stood stiffly, still waiting for him to start the conversation.

“Well?” she said.

“You aren’t making this easy for me.”

Her brow rose in surprise, “This was your doing, not mine.” Trixie’s arms crossed across her chest.

Jim saw that she wasn’t going to give an inch and decided he’d better get going on his explanations.

“I’m sorry I left you at the hospital. I shouldn’t have done that.”

He paused; she still waited for him to say more.

“I don’t know what happened. I mean, I know what happened but it just caught me by surprise.”

Trixie looked up, still waiting. Jim cleared his throat.

“When you joined Sleepyside PD, it all crashed in on me. I had this great fear that I’d lose you. You’d get hurt or killed because you’re a police officer.”

Trixie opened her mouth to protest, but he held his hand up to silence her.

“I have known since you were 13 that you wanted to be in this line of work. But Trix, it became a reality when you wore that uniform.” Jim shook his head at the memory.

“I love you so much and I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. I couldn’t bear to lose you like, like I lost my parents.” He finished in an anguished whisper and he saw her stance relax.

Jim looked down at her with hope shining through his eyes for the first time that day.

“I was terrified of losing you. I couldn’t live without you. You are my life. You are everything to me. It would kill me if something happened to you. I’ve- I’ve lost too many people in my life, I couldn’t handle having to bury you too.” A lone tear trickled down his cheek.

Trixie closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Jim still stood in front of her, his shoulders stooped with the weight of his burden. Trixie slowly opened her eyes to look at him again. Tears shimmered in her lashes and she waited for him to finish.

“I left; I had to get away from everyone. I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell anyone where I was. I wanted to block out the thoughts that just kept haunting me. I thought if I got far enough away then I wouldn’t have to worry anymore or think about you anymore.”

Trixie wiped the tears that slipped down her cheeks.

“Hallie’s shooting sent me into a tail spin. I thought for a few minutes, that it was you. I never want to feel that again, But, I can’t send you out of my life either. You’re the air that I breathe and if I can’t have you in my life, then you might as well bury me now.”

Trixie took a shuddering, hiccupping breath. She took two steps to find herself in his crushing embrace,

Jim’s fingers threaded through her hair and he held her so tightly to him that she feared her ribs would be crushed. But she didn’t mind. It had never felt better.

“Please forgive me! I know I don’t deserve it, but I love you and I want you to love me for the rest of my life.”

Trixie’s hands came up from his shoulders to clasp his face between them. She set her face very close to his, their noses nearly touching.

“I have never stopped loving you! And I never will!” she whispered.

Jim kissed her then. Trixie met his brutal onslaught every step of the way. When they finally parted, they were panting from the effect.

Trixie slowly traced a finger tip around his mouth.

“Jim, you could have talked to me when you started feeling this way. You shut me out. If we get married, we need to be able to talk to each other about these kinds of things.”

“If?” he asked with a frown.

Trixie licked her lips and thought for a moment.

“When.” She amended.

Jim and the world seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. He smiled down at her.

“I know I’m going to still get scared when you are working on a case. I can only hope I get better at dealing with it. Do you think you can be patient with me?” he absently twirled one of her curls around his fingertip.

Trixie smiled back at him and nodded. “I think I can be patient if you can make the effort to try. You know, they do have counseling for this.”

“I know, and I think it might be a good idea.”

Trixie grinned. “So, we’re back together?”

“Were we ever not together?” he asked.

“You definitely had me worried.”

“I’m sorry.” He began but she cut him off.

“Jim, we settled that already. I know you are sorry.”

Trixie took the hand he offered and they began to walk back towards Crabapple Farm.

“Trix, I know it wasn’t fair of me to act that way. I’ve known since you were 13 that you were going to be a detective.”

“Jim, it’s ok that you got scared. We all get scared sometimes. But it wasn’t ok that you shut me out. I’m the one who you should have talked to. We have promised to love each other for the rest of our lives. You have to trust me when something like this happens.”

Jim nodded his agreement. “I know, I won’t shut you out ever again, I promise. I’ll be ready to set our wedding date whenever you are.”

“Let’s give ourselves a little bit to settle things, before we worry about setting a date. I want to, and I can’t wait to be your wife, but let’s deal with one thing at a time.”

Jim kissed her hand and they kept walking.

They reached the edge of Crabapple Farm’s yard, and Jim stopped her. Taking both of her hands in his, he looked down at her lovingly.

“Just let me know when you want to get married. I’ll be there. That is if you really want to.” He watched her carefully, and felt the instant relief when she smiled.

“Of course, I want to. I love you, Jim. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Trixie moved easily into his arms and they kissed.

Inside the farm house, Hallie and Helen Belden stood at the kitchen window watching the young couple.

“Looks like the lost has been found.” Hallie said.

“Thank goodness! Maybe things can get back to normal.” Helen said as she put her arm around her niece’s waist and turned them both around.

“Auntie, Normal? You have high expectations for this group!” Hallie grinned.

“Maybe so, but it’s our normal!” Helen winked at her.

“Aunt Helen, can I have Dan over for dinner?” Hallie asked, looking up at her aunt hopefully.

“Dan is like family, he is welcome any time.” Helen assured her.

Helen watched Hallie run to the phone then to call Dan and she let her have privacy. Helen walked into the kitchen to begin the preparations for dinner. She had a couple of extra mouths to feed tonight and there was nothing she liked better.


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