UNTIL YOU COME BACK TO ME AGAIN - PART 3


Brian had arrived not long after the group had fed Jamie his late lunch/early dinner. Honey greeted him with a kiss and he hugged his mother. Nodding to the other girls, he asked about Rachel.

The group of ladies filled him in about Rachel’s’ frame of mind and hoped that Brian could give her something to help her sleep at night.

“I know she isn’t sleeping at night and you will know it too, when you see her.” Helen told her eldest son. “That poor girl. My heart is breaking for her.”

Brian patted his mother’s arm and told her he’d do what he could for her.

Trixie and Di finished folding the mountain of laundry and began to put things away.

Honey took Brian upstairs to Rachel’s room, to check to see if she was awake yet.

Carefully easing the door open, Honey peeked in.

“You are awake! Did you get any sleep?” Honey asked her.

Rachel shrugged. “Not really. But I rested. That is something.”

Honey pushed the door open further and showed Rachel that Brian was standing in the hall with her.

“Brian wanted to take a look at you, is that ok?”

Again, Rachel shrugged. Honey smiled sweetly at her and excused herself. She closed the door behind her, leaving Brian alone with Rachel.

They stared at each other long and hard.

Finally, Rachel broke the silence.

“Brian, there is nothing you can do for me.”

The muscle twitched in his cheek.

“Rachel, you look terrible.”

Rachel let out an unladylike snort.

“Humph! That is some bed side manner you have there, Doc.”

Brian came closer, setting his medical bag on the end of the bed.

“Rachel, I am your friend. I’m worried about you.”

Rachel pushed the light blanket from her legs and stood up.

“Take a look, Brian! This is what is left of me!” Rachel gestured toward her hair and body angrily. “This is what is left of me without Jim.”

She stopped suddenly, gasping in her pain. The pain and frustration she felt washed over her. She slowly slid to the floor. Brian was quick to catch her, helping her sit down on the floor. He sat beside her and gathered her into his arms.

The tears were running down her cheeks.

“This is it. I don’t have anything left.” She cried.

Brian ran a soothing hand down her back.

“Oh, Rachel, you have Jamie. He needs you, and he loves you.”

Rachel sat up and looked at him with her tear streaked face.

“You d-don’t understand, Brian! Doing anything- it takes- it takes me consciously making the effort to do it.”

Rachel grasped the front of his shirt in her fists to make him realize the depth of her despair.

“Brian! In order to get up from this bed, I have to talk myself into it. In order to take care of my baby, I have to force myself to think about his needs and not my own. I struggle every single minute of every single day since Jim died! I can’t sleep! I can’t even eat! It feels like I have to force myself to breathe! I do everything; I keep going only for Jamie!”

Brian pulled the blanket from the bed and wrapped it around her tightly.

“Rachel, I can help you. I know someone who can help you through this.”

“B-but I don’t want to get through it! I’m afraid! Because at the end of that tunnel, Jim still isn‘t there!”

Brian pulled her tightly to him and he held her as the shuddering sobs wracked her frail body. Brian had trouble holding it together himself. He understood what she felt. They all felt the loss of Jim profoundly.

Rachel’s sobs slowed and she went limp in his arms and laid her head down in his lap. He pulled the hair back from her face and let her lay there until she had stopped crying altogether. His fingers ran through her hair in a consoling manner. When she had finally settled down, he spoke again.

“Rachel, I can give you something to help you sleep. But I want you to do something for me in return.”

“Wh- what?” she hiccupped.

“I have the name of a doctor whose job it is to get people through this kind of thing. I can set up an appointment for you, if you’d like.”

He waited for those words to sink in and felt her slight nod on his leg. He knew Rachel was a nurse and that she’d understand that what he was suggesting was going to help her.

“Then, I want you to consider having Honey and I take Jamie home with us. Just for a little while.” He added when he felt her stiffen.

“Maybe if you don’t want him to go with us, then, we can stay here for a little while, or I can have a nurse come out here and help you take care of him.”

Rachel pulled herself up into a sitting position.

Wiping her wet face with the edge of the blanket, she looked up at him with bruised eyes.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“Ok, you can think about how you want to handle this.”

Rachel was silent for a few minutes.

“I- I will talk to the doctor but I d-don’t want to go into the hospital.”

“You don’t have to. I can set up an appointment for you and I can give you something to help you sleep tonight. But Rachel, Honey and I are going to stay here tonight with you. Ok?”

Rachel nodded numbly.

Brian eased out from under her and helped her to stand up. He pushed her back gently until she was sitting on the bed.

“I’ll be right back.” Brian went into he adjoining bathroom to get a glass of water and came back setting it on the nightstand.

Opening his bag, he pulled a small bottle out and opened it spilling one of the pills out into his palm. He reached out to hand it to Rachel and she took. He then gave her the glass of water which she sipped, swallowing the pill.

Rachel slid down further in the bed and Brian recovered her with the blanket.

Rachel watched him in silence then reached her hand out to him. He took it in his and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed.

Rachel’s eyes were red and puffy both from the lack of sleep and the crying. She looked so pale and fragile against the hunter green pillow case.

Brian smoothed the hair off her forehead and sat with her while she slowly grew drowsier.

“Thank you Brian.” She said in a voice raw with the emotion she felt.

“I will always be here for you.”

Her eyes slowly closed and she was asleep. Brian sat a moment longer with her, watching her finally sleep. With a soft kiss to her forehead, he stood up, catching sight of the picture on her nightstand.

It was of the wedding party at her and Jim’s wedding. He had been the best man. He had proudly stood beside his best friend that day.

Brian’s hand shook slightly when he reached his hand out to trace a finger on Jim’s face in the picture. He shook himself mentally. With a final look at Rachel sleeping peacefully, he picked up his bag and left the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

The four women looked up when he came into he kitchen. Honey stood up immediately.

“How is she?”

“I gave her a sedative and she is asleep. She was exhausted. The pill I gave her will probably keep her knocked out the whole night.”

“What about Jamie?” Di asked.

Brian looked down at Jamie playing happily in his play pen. He walked over to the edge of the play pen and crouched down. Jamie smiled a toothless grin at him and he wiggled his fingers through the mesh at the baby.

“You don’t even know the turmoil going on around you, do you?” Brian said.

The women were silently watching Brian, the concern they felt evident in their faces.

Brian stood upright again and looked at his wife.

“Honey, I told her we’d stay tonight and help her with Jamie. I hope that is ok.”

Honey was quick to nod and agree.

“Of course that is fine with me. We can stay as long as she needs us. Or we can take Jamie home with us too, to give her time.”

“She wanted us to stay here as opposed to taking Jamie away. I want to stay to keep an eye on her too.”

“Do you think she’d hurt herself?” Trixie asked quietly.

All eyes turned to Brian and he shook his head.

“I don’t think so at this time. She is distraught, and is lost without Jim but I think underneath it all she know Jamie needs her. If nothing else, he will keep her going.”

Helen hugged her son again and told him there were groceries now in the refrigerator and some casseroles in the freezer.

“Try to get her to eat when she wakes. She can’t afford to lose any more weight.”

Brian smiled softly at his mother.

“We will take care of her Moms.”

“Of course you will!” Helen kissed his cheek and hugged Honey before telling them to call if they needed her.

Trixie decided to leave with her mother and put her glass into the sink. Diana also decided to go with them and they all told Brian and Honey to call if they were needed.

The three women were out the door after giving Jamie kisses and hugs, leaving Honey and Brian alone.

“Do you think you two men will be ok for a bit while I go to our place and get us each some clothes?” Honey asked.

“Of course, I think we can hold down the fort, right Jamie?” Brian bent over to pick Jamie up from the play pen.

Jamie looked up at the big, tall dark haired man and laid his hands on Brian’s cheeks. Jamie’s green eyes bore into Brian’s dark eyes, almost as if he were trying to tell Brian something.

Jamie’s eyes were so reflective of Jim’s that Brian felt the tears well up. He almost lost it as Jamie laid his head on Brian’s shoulder in a sweet embrace.

Honey watched the little man with the grown one, and gasped with sudden emotion.

“It’s almost like he knows you are here to help his Mommy, and he thanks you!”

Brian blinked back the tears and cleared his throat several times. He nuzzled the baby’s soft downy head against his cheek.

Honey took in the scene and it was hard to keep the tears from cascading down her cheeks. The sight of her husband holding the baby brought so many emotions to the forefront for her. They had yet to have children of their own, but she knew that Brian was going to be a terrific father. They had put off having kids until Brian was done with school and settled into a practice. Well, he is done with all of it; maybe we should reopen that baby talk.

Honey watched Brian gently pat Jamie’s back and she cleared her throat.

“I’m going to go now, I’ll be back soon. Anything special you need me to get for you?”

Brian shook his head, “Just a change or two of clothes, and my shaving bag. It has everything in it that I’ll need.”

Honey kissed the back of the baby’s head and then her husband’s lips.

“I’ll be back soon. Don’t you guys miss me while I’m gone!”

Jamie lifted his head from Brian’s shoulder and grinned at his Aunt.

“I think we’ll be fine but we will miss you, won’t we Jamie?”

Honey ran her finger down Jamie’s cheek and smiled as she left.

Brian and Jamie sat down in the living room and turned the television on. Brian wasn’t really interested in watching TV, but he needed something to pass the time. He didn’t feel uncomfortable exactly, but it did feel strange to be in Jim’s house knowing that Jim wasn’t there anymore. He found a baseball game and sat down with Jamie resting in his lap as they watched the game together.

Honey returned within an hour and she smiled at the sight the “men” made watching the game. She set their bags on the floor by the bottom of the stairs for Brian to carry up later. And then she joined them.

“So, is this male bonding at its best?”

Brian grinned at his wife.

“Hey, Jamie insisted. It was some sporting event or nothing.”

Jamie looked from Brian to Honey and blew a raspberry as if saying that his uncle was telling stories.

Honey giggled at the baby. Then looked up at the ceiling, sobering.

“I’m going to check on Rachel.” She said.

“Honey, she’ll sleep the whole night well into the morning with that sedative and how exhausted she was.”

“I know, but I just need to make sure she is ok and sound asleep.”

Brian grabbed her hand as she walked by him, and he kissed the back of her knuckles.

“I promise you, we’ll get her through this.”

“For Jim.” Honey nodded.

“For Jim.” Brian agreed and let go of her hand so she could go check on Rachel.

Honey quietly walked up to the door of Rachel’s room. Easing the door open, she could see Rachel in the light from the hall.

She looked almost peaceful in her sleep and Honey was thankful that she had at least gotten some rest finally.

Honey carefully shut the door again and went back downstairs to give Brian his dinner.



back next


backgrounds provided by Web Ground