Rachel rolled over in the bed. All was quiet. She was alone. Her hand automatically reached for the other side of the bed. It was empty. Her baby, Jamie, wasn’t even up yet.
But knowing her mother, he had been up for hours and was fed and bathed.
Rachel laid in the bed, listening to the quiet. She rolled over and clutched Jim’s pillow to her. She inhaled deeply. It smelled like him.
Tears instantly formed and trickled from behind her closed lids. Rachel sighed. There was a light knock on the door.
“Come in.” She said.
“Hey Rach, just me. You have to get up soon, and get ready.”
Her sister Jessica handed her a cup of hot tea. She pulled herself into an upright position, taking the tea from her sister.
“Thanks Jess.”
“Did you sleep?”
“A little. Where’s Jamie?”
Jess smiled sadly, Jamie was her 6 month old nephew. He was the picture of his father, red hair and green eyes.
“He’s with Grandma. She got up with him so you could rest. He’s had his breakfast, and bath and she was getting him dressed as I came up here.”
Rachel nodded. Running her fingers through her hair, she looked to Jess.
“Ok, let me get up then. I’ll be down soon.”
Jess quietly left the room. Rachel pushed the blankets back and turned to set her feet on the floor. It was hard to get up, but she knew it would be. Today was the day she buried her loving husband, the day she buried Jim Frayne.
It had been prearranged that Rachel would drive to the church with her family. They were staying with her at Ten Acres. Matt Wheeler had arranged limos for the family and a baby sitter for little Jamie during the ceremony.
The limo arrived at the church and Rachel could see the rest of the family was already there. They were all congregated outside waiting for her.
Rachel stepped out of the limo, and took a deep breath. Her parents walked on either side of her, the comforting hand of her father resting on her shoulder.
Matt and Maddie Wheeler looked terrible. The death of their son, took its toll. Honey’s face was drawn, tear stained and she had a death grip on her husband, Brian’s hand. Rachel looked around. The rest of the bob Whites were there too. With a brief glance and a sad smile, she walked up to Matt.
He kissed her forehead and engulfed her into a bear hug. He was a big man, and his embrace was warm and protecting, comforting. Rachel closed her eyes and allowed him to hold her. Just as he had that night, and the other nights while they searched for Jim’s body. She’d come to love this man, almost as much as her own father.
“How are you holding up?” He asked when he released her.
“I’ve been better.” Rachel sniffed and hugged Maddie.
Honey hugged her and Rachel kissed Brian’s cheek. He was pale. He was speaking today, and was nervous about getting through it without getting emotional.
“Ready?” Her father asked.
Rachel nodded and looking to the group, took a step forward. Her mother held her hand and they proceeded to walk up the steps of the church. Thankfully not that same church she and Jim had been married in. Step by step, Rachel was hit by memories.
*Flash*
“Oh excuse me! He said when he had bumped into her. His hands had steadied her, warm on her skin.
“Rachel would you like to dance? With me?”
“Would you like to come out to the school?”
His lips softly kissing hers, and then deepening the kiss until they were breathless.
“Please tell me you’re coming back! Back to Sleepyside and back to me. I love you!”
The church altar was set up with photos of Jim. When he was younger, growing up with the bob whites. When he had built the school, photos of him and Rachel. and it almost broke her heart, photos of Jim with his son, Jamie.
Rachel walked slowly down the aisle. There wasn’t a coffin, just photos. There wasn’t a body. They had searched the Hudson for his body but couldn’t find it. The strong current had washed it away.
Rachel took her seat in the front pew, her family sitting next to her. Matt and Maddie took the seats directly across the aisle from Rachel.
The minister, Pastor Damon, came out and greeted the family having quiet words with each member. Rachel tried to take comfort in his peaceful words. But the only comfort she wanted was to be engulfed by her husband’s strong arms.
The ceremony began and Rachel closed her eyes as she listened to Regan and Trixie speak then Matt, and when it finally came down to Brian.
Rachel sat up straighter and smiled bravely at her friend. She had met Brian first out of the group and through him, met her husband. He was not only her brother in law, but her friend. He had been a strong source of comfort during the search for Jim.
Brian wore his “doctor face”, Rachel observed. He looked down at some notes he had made, and looked up. With a sweeping glanced he took in everyone who had loved Jim, settling on Rachel.
“I met Jim when we were 15. Our friendship was instantaneous. He was my best friend, my brother, and a respected companion. Jim was a loyal, honorable, loving man and no one knew that better than his wife, Rachel.”
Rachel closed her eyes when the tears began to form.
*Flash*
“Rachel Walker, will you marry me?”
“…I want to spend the rest of my life loving you and being loved by you. My vow to you today, is to try to make you as happy as you’ve made me.”
No Jim, you wouldn’t always be there. Rachel opened her eyes and looked at Brian.
“Jim lives on through his son, Jamie.” Brian continued.
*Flash*
“Jim, I’m pregnant! We’re going to have a baby!”
“Rachel, push honey, you’re doing great! Come on, sweetheart, push once more.”
“Oh, Rachel, I can see the head”
“It’s a boy, did you hear that? Thank you! Thank you!”
“He has red hair!”
“He looks just like his Daddy! I love you.”
Brian finished speaking but Rachel lost the rest of it to her memories.
The ceremony was over and everyone slowly made their way from the church.
They went back to the Manor House for a small reception. As was prearranged, the sitter for Jamie had brought him over to the Manor House. Rachel was assured he was napping, and stayed downstairs to greet the fellow mourners. After directing everyone into the dining room for a small buffet, she stole upstairs to the nursery.
Pushing open the door, she crept up to the crib and looked down at her son. Jamie was awake, playing with his feet and gurgling happily as only babies can do.
“Hey, little man!” Rachel picked him up and he blew a raspberry and clutched her hair in his tiny fists. His face lit up in a smile that matched his father’s.
Rachel changed him and sat down in the rocker for a moment, pulling a blanket over him.
She breathed in his “baby” scent. Smoothing his thick red hair back, she kissed his head.
“You don’t even know what is going on today. Our lives will be different from now on, but we have each other, Jamie. I love you so much, and your Daddy loves you. I’m going to make sure you know who he was. And I’ll do my best to raise you to be a man he would be proud of.” The tears ran down her cheeks, as Jamie kicked his little legs in his baby happiness.
Jessica poked her head in the door.
“I thought you’d be up here.”
“Yeah, I’m here.” Rachel grabbed a tissue from the small table next to the chair.
“Have you talked to Mom?”
“Not recently, since we got back here, anyway.”
“I mean have you and she talked about you moving back to Wisconsin?”
“No! I’m not moving back!”
“I know you don’t need this now, but your in laws look upset and if you aren’t moving, you should let them know.”
Rachel sighed.
“Come on, Jamie. Let’s go do damage control.”
Jess smiled sympathetically.
“You know how she gets.”
“Yeah, I know and I know she wants me to be close so she can help me and Jamie.”
Jess nodded and followed Rachel out of the room.
Rachel entered the living room, and searched for her mother.
Judy Walker was standing in a corner talking to Regan and Miss Trask.
“Mom, can I talk to you?” she asked.
“Of course, dear.” Judy reached for the baby.
Rachel handed Jamie to his grandmother and led her a few feet away.
“Mom, are you telling everyone that I’m moving back to Wisconsin?”
“Rachel, I’m sure that is the best thing for you and my grandson. You need your family around you.”
“Mom, this is my home. This is Jamie’s home. We are surrounded by family.”
“Rachel, you know what I mean. Your family.”
“This is my family. I love them and they love us.”
“Rachel-”
“Mom, please, this is a hard day as it is, I don’t want to fight. Jamie and I are staying here and living in our home. End of discussion. We will be happy to visit you and have you visit us.”
Judy opened her mouth yet again, but Rachel took the baby from her and walked away.
Patting Jamie’s back, she walked out the patio doors and sat into one of the wicker chairs. She pulled the blanket tighter around the baby.
“Jamie, love, I can’t take you away from your home. Your Daddy and I wanted to raise you here and that is where we are going to stay.”
“I’m glad to hear that.” A voice came from the corner of the house.
“Dan. I didn’t see you there.”
“I’m sorry if I’m bothering you.”
“No, please stay and talk to me. How are you?”
Dan looked down at her in amazement.
“That’s what I should be asking you.”
Dan had been here in town on the night of the accident. He’d been at the scene and stood on the shore of the Hudson while they searched for Jim’s body. Dan also rode with Spider Webster to tell Rachel the news.
It was Dan who caught Rachel when she collapsed hysterically crying. It was also him that she had clung to in her grief. He had tried to comfort her while needing his own comfort over the loss of his best friend.
Rachel watched him. Her sad eyes clear and perceptive. She knew he had been quiet throughout the planning for the service and the days following Jim’s death. Almost too quiet.
They were soon interrupted with the arrival of the rest of the Bob Whites.
“Are we interrupting anything?” Honey asked.
“Not at all.” Dan answered.
“No, I’m glad you are all here. I’d like to tell you something.” Rachel said.
Everyone looked to her and waited, holding their breath.
“You might have heard a rumor that Jamie and I are going back to Wisconsin. But that isn’t true. We’re staying right here in our home.” Rachel bounced Jamie on her knee and he gurgled and giggled.
Mart smiled down at him and ruffled his hair. Jamie grinned at him.
“We’re so relieved!” Honey exclaimed.
“I’m going to need your help too.” Rachel said softly.
“Anything you need, we’ll help you with.” Brian assured her.
“Good, I need you to help me with Jamie. We need to tell him about his Dad. How he was the most wonderful man. Loving, strong, dependable, honest, all of the things I want Jamie to be. Jim loved this little guy so much and it’s up to us to make sure that Jamie knows that.”
Rachel looked up to see the tears running down the women’s faces. Trixie wiped her face with a tissue from her pocket.
“I promise, Jamie will know.” Trixie said.
“Thank you all. Jim loved you all so much.”
“He adored the ground you walk on.” Diana said, sniffling.
Rachel nodded as her tears fell. “I love him so much. I don’t know how I’m going to do this alone.”
“You aren’t alone Rachel, you’ve got us.” Mart said.
“Thank you all so much. I know I couldn’t do this without you.” Rachel clasped Honey’s hand and included everyone in her gaze.
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